Launch into Your Ideal Life

Every day sit for a moment in silent meditation and concentrate on exactly what you would love to create in your life. Imagine every detail you can and then even more. Imagine your life exactly the way you would love it to be.Let your imagination be real enough to have it come true, yet ideal enough to inspire and stretch you.

Write as many details as you can imagine down and begin a dream or goal plan. Writing these down helps make dreams come true. Remember the details.

Every day take at least one if not three or even seven action steps to make this goal come true. What you move toward move towards you.

Keep records of every synchronous and goal aligning event that occurs, they surround your life. Write all the events that come true each day that demonstrates that you are moving in the direction of your goals.

Keep refining your goals, so as to become clearer and clearer each day on your outcomes.

As they begin to become real be sure to add new ones all revolving around your chief aim or purpose in life.

Be thankful for every supportive and challenging event that helps provide you feedback and fulfillment.

Remember the art of creation is set goals aligned to your values* then hold the image through time - the only way to hold the image through time is to keep it in motion and the only way to keep it in motion is to focus on the ever finer details.

by Dr John Demartini

As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished.

No one reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that.

People are always searching for a meaning to life. But life has no meaning; it cannot have meaning because meaning is a formula; meaning is something that makes sense to the mind.

Every time you make sense out of reality, you bump into something that destroys the sense you made.

Meaning is only found when you go beyond meaning. Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.

Anthony de Mello

It’s so easy to get caught up in the business and demand of life that we can often for the most simple of truths. Even some of the truths that hold together the foundation of our experience, that give life meaning, and that bring us joy often get buried beneath a concoction of thoughts, obligations, and responsibilities.

While it can be excited to experience life and go with the flow, a life without reflection is not worth living. There has to be some time set aside each day to examine yourself and see if there is something you can improve on. The funny thing is, it’s usually the case that the solution to our problems is so obvious that we failed to see it.

If you find yourself feeling stuck, upset, or unfulfilled, the solution may be as simple as remembering some of the basic truths that we may have taken for granted. Here are 5 of the most basic truths that even the smartest people forget.

1) Success and failure go hand-in-hand

Every single “successful” person you can think of has failed many times in their life. They’ve lost money, friends, relationships, jobs, and hope. In the same way that you can’t have light without darkness, you can’t really talk about success until you have a concept of what it means to be unsuccessful. In fact “success” and “failure” are really just states of mind. One state of mind is grateful and inspired, and the other is doubtful and fear-based. Both of these are a part of the circle of life, and there is not coming to success without a few bumps and bruises along the way.

2) “Success” does not mean happiness

A basic truth that often gets forgotten is that having money and financial freedom will not make you happy. Neither will your relationships, your job, or your social life. Only YOU can make you happy through your own self-realization and personal development. You can be happy without money and your dream job, but you can’t be happy without a relationship with yourself and the Universe.

3) Life is short

Life is too short to hate people, hold grudges, and worry about things you can’t change. It’s also too short to spend time in a place you aren’t happy, spend your daily hours doing something you detest, or make “safe” decisions your whole life. Take some risks once in a while, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and go on adventures.

4) Everyone suffers

Nobody in the history of planet earth has lived a life free of suffering, pain, depression, anger, of anxiety. Everybody is experiences these things on a daily basis. Even the people you look up to in your life the most are fighting their own battles. Just because the people around you are smiling and talking does not mean they aren’t suffering deep down.

It’s important to remember that suffering is a natural part of the human experience. There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not “messed up” just because you are sad or confused often. Everyone you have ever met in your life has, at some point, experienced the same kind of emotion you are dealing with right now. You are not alone in your struggles.

5) What we see in others exists in us

Life is a mirror. Everything wrong we see in others exists, at least in part, within us as well. Everything that irritates us about others shows us what we need to work on. Everything area we need to improve in is mirrored back to us in our relationships, circumstances, and life events. When you find yourself frustrated with the world around you, don’t be afraid to stop and ask yourself “How much of this is a reflection of myself?”

By remembering these 5 things, it can take a massive weight off of our shoulders. Sometimes, life is not so mysterious. Sometimes the answers to our dilemmas are as simple as stopping, reflecting, and remember some of the most basic truths that seem to get lost in the chaos of life.

Steven Bancarz

The greater a grudge, the greater are the physiological effects.

It is wiser to discover the source of the grudge and dissolve it before it festers into a health robbing status. Either by setting realistic expectations or effectively communicating or discovering the benefit, value, meaning or purpose behind the action or event that initiated the grudge in the first place we can dissolve the grudge and get on with our lives.

Appreciating and loving is essential for wellbeing. Anything you cannot say thank you for becomes your baggage and ages you.

Anything you can say thank you for becomes your fuel and sages you

Dr John Demartini

We live here on Earth, together with billions of fellow human beings. That we live is an irrefutable empirical fact. Similarly, the fact that other people live on Earth, too, is also an empirical fact.

We do not merely live, however, but we are also personalities. We are personalities who are similar to each other in various respects, and largely different from each other in other respects. That we are personalities, different from each other is also an empirical fact for us.

Out of these two experiences, however, only one is true, the other is deception. Only one is a fact, the other is an illusion, and the biggest illusion in the world at that.

The Beginnings of the Illusion

Let us take a closer look and examine which of the two experiences is true and which is a mere illusion.

Our life in this world begins when we are born. It is obvious that we are alive, but we are not yet a personality. At that time only the simplicity and greatness of the present moment, of existence, is known to us.

The society, and its culture, is what shapes us into personalities while we grow up. We become a personality when our Ego is born. This is an inevitable step in the evolution of the Consciousness, so there is nothing wrong with that. The Ego is born, the separate little Self, as a focus of the Consciousness. That little Self obtains experience about itself and the world. In the natural course of evolution and as a result of the experience gathered, the Ego withdraws to give way to the process as a result of which Consciousness awakens to its own existence through a human form.

The progress of this evolutionary process can, however, be impeded by an illusion: the illusion that the individual is becoming somebody, a personality. We begin to become somebody, a personality, when we start to identify with the Ego, with that separate little Self. Under that illusion we believe that the Ego is a reality, and we are identical with the Ego, and the development of the separate little Self is in fact the foundation of our personal development. Nowadays it is virtually impossible to avoid that kind of illusion, since mankind has lived in it for thousands of years. The deception has become independent, and the illusion of the Ego is now a reality for the entire mankind, including, naturally, us.

The Nature of the Illusion

Our identification with the Ego makes us therefore somebody, a personality. On the other hand, our identification with the Ego will be the root of all our problems and misery. Since around us everybody considers the Ego as the most important centre of their life, we are also brought up by our parents to have a powerful Ego, a centrepoint in our life, by the time we reach adulthood. It is necessary because our society–and its culture–favors and worships the individuals with a powerful Ego.

Our parents and teachers bring us up in the spirit of the permanent endeavors to become somebody, to become a strong personality, to become somebody different from what are now (to become bigger, more important and better than other people). That is why we always watch the other people, we compare and measure ourselves to them. All that time, we also try to adjust our actions and deeds to the expectations and opinions of others. We keep dealing with the past and the future, and we never have sufficient time to stop and notice the immense illusion behind our life.

The End of the Illusion

An illusion may only survive if it is continually fanned and nourished. If we take a look around through innocent eyes (that is, through eyes free of any kind of opinions) we will soon realize how every society nourishes and fans, through its various institutions, the illusion of the separate little Self, the Ego. How they nourish the illusion of ”somebodyness” in us and in everybody else. All that may take place because every society, every culture is based upon individuals, and if those individuals disappear, they wake up from their ”somebodyness,” the former modus operandi of that society collapses.

That is why Eckhart Tolle is perfectly right when he asserts that the world can only change from inside. The internal change means that we wake up from our ”somebodyness” and we begin to understand what our mission is in the evolutionary progress of the Consciousness.

We must therefore wake up from the illusion of our ”somebodyness” in order to concentrate our attention on reality. That reality is nothing but the innermost empirical fact in our life, that is, the fact that we live, and we constitute a vibrating Consciousness, full of life. That is the reality that has been shrouded from us by the illusion, the mistake that we concentrated all our efforts on sustaining our ”somebodyness.”

If we stop nourishing that illusion, it will vanish after a while. In order to sever the power line of the illusion, we must learn how to notice the vividness and beauty of the present moment. Once we are able to accept the present moment, we are able to accept ourselves and we are able to enjoy the simplicity, tranquility and peace of existence. The Ego and the experience of ”somebodyness” then disappear, and we remain nothing but pure, vibrating energy, Life itself.

Frank M. Wanderer PhD

There exists in society a law of social behaviour called the Law of Eristic Escalation. The law is derived from the chaos theory and states that when somebody in society attempts to impose a rule or value on that society in order to bring order and governance, an equal and opposite social force will emerge to initiate chaos in the governance of disorder.

An individual who attempts to impose this order could be considered an eristic avatar, like Mahatma Ghandi, and because nature has made it such that where growth and development is maximal on the border of chaos and order, there exists contrary opposite value systems in human values and society to fulfill this continued development. So whatever one person is dedicated to and wants to build, somebody else is dedicated to destroy.

This can show up in technicians wanting to advance technology into the future and utilise resources, and ecologists wanting to slow down development, hold onto the past and salvage resources. This can show up as pro-lifers and pro-abortionists, capitalists and socialists. These complementary opposites work as expressions or repressions of social values. Whatever the collective society represses, a selective society will express. Whatever the collective society negates, a selective society will affirm. This keeps the balance of build and destroy active, so society can continue to adapt to changing environments. Society requires socioplasticity to evolve.

This same complementary opposite law applies in human physiology. Anabolic and catabolic, mitosis and apoptosis, reduction and oxidation, and parasympathetic and sympathetic. These complementary opposites are essentials inside our physiology, our individuality, our family, our corporate and inside all levels of social dynamics.

Since the family is the fundamental unit of social structure this same law applies with the family dynamic. Inside a family, if one is the ambitious one and tries to directly control their lives, the other family member will just go with the flow and take it as it comes. If one strives for wealth, the other will be a great spender and consumer. If one is outspoken, the other will be an introvert. Welcome to the hidden order of the family!

So, growth and development and remodelling demands expressions and repressions of human values as pairs of opposites. Even in companies, there’s the over-worker and the under-worker, the outspoken and the withholding, the one that exceeds expectations and the other that barely lives up to expectations. Leaders and managers must know how to master the management of these paradoxes.

So to expect and desire a one-sided world will only frustrate. If the repressors of society are labelled good, like in chastity, the expressors will be the villains. If the repressors are labelled villains, the expressors will be labelled heroes. Just like for the haves and have nots, if the collective are repressed economically, the selective will express their wealth. So too for intelligence and all other aspects of human behaviour. The more extreme these poles become, the more unstable the society. The more moderated they become, the more stable.

Leaders who can recognise this hidden order do not become trapped in or fooled by the Law of Eristic Escalation, expecting only one side. Seeking that which is unavailable and trying to avoid that which is unavoidable is a source of human suffering. Embracing both sides of life is the secret to fulfilment within the individual and society. Just like within you, trying to get rid of half yourself in order to love yourself is futile. You are wise then to love both sides of yourself. So too for society.

The second you take a stance, an equal and opposite stance emerges and you become a victim of circumstance. Once you understand the Law of Eristic Escalation, embrace both sides, transcend the paradox, as a great leader you get to dance. Great leaders embrace and master the management of such pairs of opposites.

- Dr Demartini

"Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are."

- Kristin Armstrong

I learned this lesson first and foremost with myself (the way we all learn our big lessons I suppose).

The only way ANYTHING in my life has ever changed is when I was finally able to step outside of myself a bit, and regard my thoughts or actions with a dispassionate eye, and see how those thoughts and actions were contributing to these terrible outcomes, and finally say to myself: "Enough of this bullshit, Gilbert."

Enough of what, exactly?

Well, take your pick.

Enough of the lies you've been telling to yourself, Liz.

Enough of the lies you've been telling to others.

Enough of saying, "I've got this under control!" when all evidence points to the fact that you totally do not have it under control.

Enough of the blame.

Enough of the shame.

Enough of being guided by fear instead of by faith.

Enough of waiting for somebody other than yourself to transform.

Enough of waiting for someone to speak your truth for you.

Enough of waiting to be saved.

Enough of not forgiving.

Enough of saying, "I'm too weak to do this important thing!"

Enough of the patterns of self-abuse, self-destruction, and self-ridicule.

Enough of saying, "But it's not FAIR!"

At some point or another in my life, I've had to call bullshit on myself for all of the above. I get sick of my own bullshit when I become bored, saddened, and angered with the same garbage outcomes happening to me all the time. It sucks, and I get pissed off, and my life becomes unhappy. But at some point, I finally get it. Instead of crying out, "Why does this keep HAPPENING to me?!" I finally say, "Enough, Gilbert. Time to look at what you are doing to create these garbage outcomes in your life. And time to stop doing it."

Then comes the digging, the owning, the honesty, the work.

I can still remember some of the places I was standing, and what I was wearing, and what the sky looked like at these moments of self-revelation.

I can only assume that — going forward — I will have to call bullshit on myself again and again, too...but only if I want to keep growing!

Because I've seen this happen in other people's lives, too — the moment when they finally wake up to their own bullshit. What follows next is always amazing. It's not self-hatred or shame (that was all part of the original bullshit) but LIBERATION. I'm talking about that electrifying moment when someone says, "Enough. I see it all clearly now, and I'm done with that chapter in my life." It's like they step out of an old self and into a new one. They enter into a new level of self-accountability, self-respect, and self-awareness.

It just makes you want to burst into applause.

Because that's where it all begins.

Because what happens next is merely this: a human being ignites into life.

ONWARD,

Elizabeth Gilbert

We are NOT raised to believe in our extraordinariness. We are raised in a way that encourages us to ‘raise’ our ego, the part of us that must accomplish something and ‘own’ things. So we are raised in a way that the ‘ordinary’ part of us feels that we are having a successful life IF we go through the motions, IF we go to school, IF we get good grades, IF we do well, IF we stick to the rules, IF we fill out the forms, IF we pay our taxes.

This to us is good.

But we can be extraordinary beings and still have ‘ordinariness’ in us. But the extraordinariness within us, our ‘soul’, does not want to be confined to ‘ordinariness’, it doesn’t want to be contained it just wants to expand. Our ‘soul’ is infinite, it doesn’t know limitations, it’s knows we are in a universe of immense possibilities, it wants to just expand and grow and experience all there is to experience, it wants to break down the barriers of our preprogrammed limitations, it doesn’t understand ‘No, you can’t experience everything you truly desire’.

It is the mother of creativity.

So that we don’t live the horrors of a ‘half lived life’, we need to address our extraordinariness so that we can look beyond what we have been programmed to become, which is filling out the forms, going to school, getting the grades and believing that this is all there is to our world.

We are raised to believe we are the ‘conditioned self ‘, the ‘limited self’, and when we see beyond this we realize that we have become a victim of the illusion, the illusion that has been created intently to keep us limited.

You see the illusion was created because the fabric of society, and the foundation of that, cannot see you successful and wealthy, because then who would work in the check-out’s, the fuel station. Who would clean the streets, drive the buses, work in the hospitals, if we all lived our true dreams.

Your potential to dream and achieve was stolen from you, LONG AGO. We have been lied to all our lives by a system that told us from an early age that ‘ordinary’ is good.

Don’t live the horrors of a ‘half lived life’.

SOLUTION – Think greater than your environment so that your environment no longer controls your thinking.

Ray Behan

1. Stop being offended. The behavior of others isn’t a reason to be immobilized. That which offends you only weakens you. If you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. This is your ego at work convincing you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is. But you can become an appreciator of life and match up with the universal Spirit of Creation. You can’t reach the power of intention by being offended. By all means, act to eradicate the horrors of the world, which emanate from massive ego identification, but stay in peace. As A Course in Miracles reminds us: Peace is of God, you who are part of God are not at home except in his peace. Being is of God, you who are part of God are not at home except in his peace. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and war.

2. Let go of your need to win. Ego loves to divide us up into winners and losers. The pursuit of winning is a surefire means to avoid conscious contact with intention. Why? Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter-and back you’ll go to feeling worthless and insignificant.

You’re not your winnings or your victories. You may enjoy competing, and have fun in a world where winning is everything, but you don’t have to be there in your thoughts. There are no losers in a world where we all share the same energy source. All you can say on a given day is that you performed at a certain level in comparison to the levels of others on that day. But today is another day, with other competitors and new circumstances to consider. You’re still the infinite presence in a body that’s another day (or decade) older. Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. That’s ego’s fear. If your body isn’t performing in a winning fashion on this day, it simply doesn’t matter when you aren’t identifying exclusively with your ego. Be the observer, noticing and enjoying it all without needing to win a trophy. Be at peace, and match up with the energy of intention. And ironically, although you’ll hardly notice it, more of those victories will show up in your life as you pursue them less.

3. Let go of your need to be right. Ego is the source of a lot of conflict and dissension because it pushes you in the direction of making other people wrong. When you’re hostile, you’ve disconnected from the power of intention. The creative Spirit is kind, loving, and receptive; and free of anger, resentment, or bitterness. Letting go of your need to be right in your discussions and relationships is like saying to ego, I’m not a slave to you. I want to embrace kindness, and I reject your need to be right. In fact, I’m going to offer this person a chance to feel better by saying that she’s right, and thank her for pointing me in the direction of truth.

When you let go of the need to be right, you’re able to strengthen your connection to the power of intention. But keep in mind that ego is a determined combatant. I’ve seen people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself, Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the happy, loving, spiritual mood, your connection to intention is strengthened. These moments ultimately expand your new connection to the power of intention. The universal Source will begin to collaborate with you in creating the life you were intended to live.

4. Let go of your need to be superior. True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on your growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended essence; all that we need to fulfill our destiny is available to us. None of this is possible when you see yourself as superior to others. It’s an old saw, but nonetheless true: we are all equal in the eyes of God. Let go of your need to feel superior by seeing the unfolding of God in everyone. Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other indices of ego. When you project feelings of superiority that’s what you get back, leading to resentments and ultimately hostile feelings. These feelings become the vehicle that takes you farther away from intention. A Course in Miracles addresses this need to be special and superior: Special ness always makes comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another, and maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight, all lacks it can perceive.

5. let go of your need to have more. The mantra of ego is more. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough. You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of ever arriving. Yet in reality you’ve already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you’re detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace.

The universal Source is content with itself, constantly expanding and creating new life, never trying to hold on to its creations for its own selfish means. It creates and lets go. As you let go of ego’s need to have more, you unify with that Source. You create, attract to yourself, and let it go, never demanding that more come your way. As an appreciator of all that shows up, you learn the powerful lesson St.Francis of Assisi taught:”…it is in giving that we receive.” By allowing abundance to flow to and through you, you match up with your Source and guarantee that this energy will continue to flow.

6. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements. This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. God writes all the music, God sings all the songs, God builds all the buildings, God is the source of all your achievements. I can hear your ego loudly protesting. Nevertheless, stay tuned to this idea. All emanates from Source! You and that Source are one! You’re not this body and its accomplishments. You are the observer. Notice it all; and be grateful for the abilities you’ve accumulated. But give all the credit to the power of intention, which brought you into existence and which you’re a materialized part of. The less you need to take credit for your achievements and the more connected you stay to the seven faces of intention, the more you’re free to achieve, and the more will show up for you. It’s when you attach yourself to those achievements and believe that you alone are doing all of those things that you leave the peace and the gratitude of your Source.

7. Let go of your reputation. Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations. Connecting to intention means listening to your heart and conducting yourself based on what your inner voice tells you is your purpose here. If you’re overly concerned with how you’re going to be perceived by everyone, then you’ve disconnected yourself from intention and allowed the opinions of others to guide you. This is your ego at work. It’s an illusion that stands between you and the power of intention. There’s nothing you can’t do, unless you disconnect from the power source and become convinced that your purpose is to prove to others how masterful and superior you are and spend your energy attempting to win a giant reputation among other egos. Do what you do because your inner voice always connected to and grateful to your Source-so directs you. Stay on purpose, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you. Or as a book title says: What You Think of Me Is None of My Business!

Dr. Wayne Dyer

1. You can train your mind to do anything

“The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviours.”

2.You have all the power you need

“I’ve continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I’ve learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.”

3.You must act consistently

“I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret.”

4.Your attitude to money is crucial

“Change the consistent emotions you associate with money – or your beliefs about it – and you will immediately change the amount of money you attract, accumulate, and enjoy in your life.”

5.Your past is not your future

“If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: The past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; or the last fifty years of life, doesn’t mean anything… All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?”

6.Your relationships are a place to give

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”

7.You must be flexible in communication

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

8.Your internal drive is everything

“The invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing in your life.”

 9.It’s okay to be human

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

And of course, the most important lesson:

10. Live your life!

“Every man dies. Not every man lives.”

Tony Robbins

When I first heard this phrase, it took a few moments to really sink in. I thought to myself: that makes no sense; I’m totally together when it comes to my relationships, and my business is thriving. And then it hit me.

I can work myself into a frenzy to get something done at work, procrastinate like crazy, and be quick to jump to conclusions if something or someone seems to upset the apple cart of my livelihood. But in my mind, business was only one area of my life, and my real life consisted of all the other areas.

But the truth is: we aren’t split. We’re whole—we can’t drop the ball in one area of life and expect our other areas to function smoothly.

When I procrastinate at work, then get myself into a frenzy to complete a project, I’m exhausted. I have nothing to give the ones I love, much less even myself. I become out of balance and return home crabby and testy.

The habits we practice in one area of life, become our life.

Just like we become the five people we hang out with most in life, the way we operate on a daily basis is our life.

I can walk into a home or business and read the life of the inhabitants like the back of my hand. It spooks me at times, but I’m 99.99% accurate, the way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Let’s pretend I’m in your home right now. Take a moment and open your closet.

Are there a bunch of clothes in there you never wear, but continue to hold on to, just in case?

If so, I’m betting there are people in your life that don’t match who you are or who you really want to be, yet you continue to hold on to them in fear of standing alone. If that doesn’t fit, how about this? I’m betting there is a job you’re holding on to that you don’t love, but you’re settling for what is, not what you want to be.

Do you see what I mean? The energy is the same. When we hold on to things just in case, we’re buying into poverty consciousness. We’re not trusting that what we need, or who we’ll want, will be there if we let go of what’s no longer working.

Now let’s think about an extra painful topic for many people. How is money flowing at the moment? When it’s seemingly slow, chances are we’re slow paying our bills, holding back on settling debts, and dragging our feet in general around our money responsibilities. When we slow the flow in one area, it’s going to dam up all areas.

Perhaps take a peek at the area behind your car seat. Is it filled with mail, receipts and left over lunch bags? When we drive around with a bunch of stuff that we know needs to be dealt with, it drains our energy. When we open the car door and immediately groan, it’s going to affect our mood. You see, if you’re not dealing with little things—opening mail, filing receipts, or even throwing away daily garbage, chances are you’re not dealing with other little things in your life like returning calls promptly, volleying back emails, and following up on your to-do lists.

Let’s face it, none of us are perfect; but the little ways we drop the ball in life are going to add up and affect other areas.

Take a moment and reflect upon your primary relationship, or if you’re single, your last significant other. What was their top complaint about you? Did they complain you started the relationship present and loving, but dribbled out like a flickering flame in your efforts? Now think about how you handle other projects in your life. Do you start out excited and passionate, but lose interest when you’re bored or the going gets tough?

If I could, I’d insert the sound of crickets here.

I know. It’s painful to look at.

But…it’s true. The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Here’s the good news—there’s a silver lining to all of this: This little law of life, works in our favour too. When we make tiny changes in one area of life, we affect other areas like the wings of a butterfly starting a tsunami on the other side of the world.

We can’t help but affect our life in big ways when we start to make little changes.

One of the craziest of exercises I have the women in my 40 day reboot program do is to spend 30 minutes cleaning their toilet. Stay with me here, I promise this works.

I want you to walk into your bathroom and take a look at your loo. Open the lid and go where no woman wants to go and no man acknowledges is actually there: the rim of the toilet. Disgusting isn’t it? I don’t care how clean you are, that area of your toilet is going to be icky.

Next, sit down on a towel (you’re going to be there a while) with all of your cleaning supplies nearby and begin. Set a timer for 30 minutes and clean that toilet from top to bottom. Clean the area behind the toilet on the floor, clean the bolts that hold it down, clean the outside of the bowl, the seat, the back, the top and the inside of the toilet bowl. Scrub every last inch and all the crevices that are hard to reach. Use an old toothbrush if you have to, but get everything as clean as you would if you had to eat your next meal off that toilet.

If you’re still with me here, I want you to leave the room, wash your hands and have yourself something to eat and drink. Then go back into that bathroom and feel the energy shift. Chances are, you’re going to want to attack the bathtub, shower and sink with the same vigour after feeling the shift.

And here’s the magic part: something in your life will change. Women in my program have suddenly received money, gotten good news, found something thought to be lost, or received something new.

Not up for cleaning?

Spend an hour this afternoon or evening and complete three things you’ve been putting off. Clean out that drawer, make that call, send that email or fix a situation with a clear conversation or apology.

When we experience the freedom that arrives and the burst of energy that returns, we no longer question the effect every area of our life has on all aspects of our happiness. We are not divided beings. We’re whole and we’re all connected.

When we finally realize that the way we do anything is the way we do everything, we have the power to change every aspect of our life.

Daily Transformations

“It is important that you get clear for yourself that your only access to impacting life is action. The world does not care what you intend, how committed you are, how you feel or what you think, and certainly it has no interest in what you want and don’t want. Take a look at life as it is lived and see for yourself that the world only moves for you when you act.” 

Werner Erhard

Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty.

Courtney A. Walsh

“An unrealistic perception of life is the basis of fear. People are not willing to live – people are not willing to die. That is their whole predicament right now. The fear is simply because you’re not living with life – you’re living in your mind. Your fear is always about what’s going to happen next. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist.

If your fear is about the non-existent, your fear is a hundred percent imaginary. If you’re suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity. So people may be in just socially accepted levels of insanity. But if you’re afraid, or if you’re suffering anything which does not exist, it amounts to insanity – doesn’t it?

People are always suffering – either what happened yesterday, or what may happen tomorrow. So your suffering is always about that which does not exist – simply because you’re not rooted in reality, you’re always rooted in your mind. Mind is – one part of it is – memory, another part is imagination. Both of them are in one way imagination, because both of them don’t exist right now.

You’re lost in your imagination – that’s the basis of your fear. If you are rooted in reality there will be no fear.”

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

For those who think they KNOW things because they have been told them:

I need to know the answers for myself. I find little comfort in beliefs, especially since they are the most abundant commodities available today. Every society, every culture is overflowing with their version of the truth – a manmade collection of solid convictions. These beliefs change with time, evolving and decaying, while the truth of our existence remains the same, hidden under the ever-growing mountain of doctrines, dogmas, assumptions, and conclusions.

I believe that the purpose of life is experience. We must experience and explore for ourselves. We must discover and know, or be a slave to other people’s opinions. As the twenty-first century approaches, the time has come for us to recognize our true potential and to explore beyond the prevailing beliefs and convictions. The time has come for us to discover the truth for ourselves.

William Buhlman

We go through our entire lives experiencing so many things. Most people identify with their experiences. “This happened to me.” Somehow we have lost ourselves in the drama. It’s just like when you are watching a movie, and you become immersed in it, as if it is real. We become entrapped in our experiences, we think about them, our emotions are stirred and we fall victim to the show.

But we are Not our experiences. We are the witness to these happenings, but they are not us. No matter what happens to you, separate yourself from the experience. See yourself for who you really are – the witness of such events. The witness cannot be touched by the experience unless he identifies with it. And beyond the witness, you are pure Being.

This is very powerful. This disconnecting one’s Self from what one experiences pushes the consciousness outside of the drama. You separate yourself from the show, and when this happens, you do not suffer any longer from the experiences of the world. It takes you out of your mind and emotions. You no longer personalize any event or feel that something is being done to you. Nothing is being done to the witness, as he is only witnessing the events. They are not actually happening to him, therefor he is untouched.

This is obviously a completely different way of perceiving reality than most people are accustomed to, but it is very much possible simply by shifting your awareness away from the mind. The entire world looks very different from that perspective.

Greg Calise

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions- Will Smith

If you really want to break the cycles of choosing toxic behaviours such as anger, drugs, alcohol, violence, etc one of the major turning points will be to break free of toxic relationships.

To break free of toxic relationships you need to stop blaming the other person such as your mum, dad, brother, partner, friend and so on and start looking within yourself.

Too often, too many people, blame too many of their life’s issues on their childhood. Take for instance my son Josh. Early last year at rock bottom Josh was SO angry at me for bringing him into this world full of his own anxiety, depression, drug issues etc, yelling at me for bringing him into a world as a child in abuse, neglect, trauma etc (now I’ve done enough counselling myself to know I’m not that kind of mum anymore and I would NEVER let anyone harm my children and YES I agree I did do damage when I didn’t protect my children) BUT as I’ve learnt through my very own lessons in life, blaming others will NOT help you. I spoke to Josh and told him bluntly “yes Josh I feel guilty about not being the best mum and I understand how you are feeling, I really do, BUT right now mate you’ve for two choices in life 1. Keep blaming me and your dad for your horrible childhood and drag this shit through your life for the rest of it and stay medicated for depression and stay on drugs to block your feelings and just live a TOXIC life forever until you die OR 2. Get counselling, let go of blame, and be the CREATOR of your future, you’re 18 now the world is YOUR oyster, go and create MAGIC because it’s there!!!!!!

Please please please guys do yourself a favour and STOP blaming others in your past for your future; the ball is in YOUR court to create what ever life you dream of

I know I use to blame everyone around me, I would tell myself that if they didn’t piss me off I wouldn’t get so angry, if they didn’t speak to me that way I wouldn’t have to yell at them; you see I didn’t keep myself accountable and it felt easier to blame someone else for my behaviour than to look at me and change myself. I kept telling myself that they had the problems, not me. Once I realised the answer to living my dream life was all about changing ME, that’s when my world started to change.

I learnt this tool from my counselling session and absolutely loved it. I hung it on my wall and even still to this day I use this powerful tool. Ask yourself; every time you are blaming someone else for something that has happened are you going “above” the line or “below” the line. Once you keep yourself “above” the line consistently over time; you will find major changes happening.

The line that separates the blame game

Truth Courage

Ownership Love

Choices Integrity

Freedom Responsibility

Accountable Compassion

Above The Line

Below The Line

Blame Excuses

Justify Quit

Denial Doubt

Fear Worry

React Jealously

Living in toxic relationships is most likely the key factor into your toxic behaviours. As I’ve mentioned throughout this book; my relationship was so toxic that there was no hope in hell that I could have worked on my issues as well as live in that kind of relationship.

I also knew in order for me to break my toxic cycles that I had to get away from the friends I was choosing as they were living the same kind of toxic life that I was and so it seemed to me that my toxic life was “normal”.

I knew I had to step outside of my “normal” and find another way. All around me were people living in toxic relationships and I had to be strong and find the kind of people I needed to be surrounded by in order to change my life.

When DHS gave me my ultimatums I had to dig deep and search with all of my might to find the right way in life. At first it was uncomfortable but I soon started to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Stacey Currie

Have perfect faith in yourself and in your own ability to cope with any combination of circumstances that may arise. Do not be disturbed if you are alone;

if you need friends they will be brought to you at the right time.

Do not be disturbed if you feel that you are ignorant, the information that you need will be furnished you when it is time for you to have it. That which is in you impelling you forward is in the things and people you need, impelling them toward you. If there is a particular man you need to know, he will be introduced to you; if there is a particular book you need to read it will be placed in your hands at the right time. All the knowledge you need is coming to you from both external and internal sources.

Your information and your talents will always be equal to the requirements of the occasion. 

As soon as you awaken and begin to use your faculties in a great way you will apply power to the development of your brain; new cells will be created and dormant cells quickened into activity, and your brain will be qualified as a perfect instrument for your mind.

Wallace D Wattles : 'The Science of Being Great'

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion.

Perhaps there is no solid obstacle except our own need to protect ourselves from being touched.

Maybe the only enemy is that we don’t like the way reality is now and therefore wish it would go away fast.

But what we find as practitioners is that nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive.

It just keeps returning with new names, forms, manifestations until we learn whatever it has to teach us about where we are separating ourselves from reality, how we are pulling back instead of opening up, closing down instead of allowing ourselves to experience fully whatever we encounter, without hesitating or retreating into ourselves."

Pema Chödrön